please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She bit a glass in half.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
