She is in my trunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
