you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
