Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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