So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
