I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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