i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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