these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
