girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
