she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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