mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
