Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
