Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
