so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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