I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
where am i from again
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize