I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
