I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
