I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
