i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
4 words: hood of his car
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you never un-have a 4some
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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