Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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