singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
