i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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