Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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