And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
