Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
