cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
