Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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