come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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