Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize