your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
