I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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