i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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