he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
