Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
