jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
