Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
