was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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