Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She bit a glass in half.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
