Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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