I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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