How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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