Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
