I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
