Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
