Do you still have your period?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
