Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
