bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
