Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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