Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
