all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
