that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
