I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
