those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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