he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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