I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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