How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
