You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
