he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
