it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
